One of the biggest problems I have is being too stubborn sometimes. To not admit defeat and keep trying even when I know there is no solution. When I’m sick I push, trying to write even if I feel like crap because I feel guilty for needing the rest and wanting to get the word count up regardless of how I feel. I don’t tell myself it’s okay to stop and rest. I don’t give myself permission to relax and rest or even take a break. Pushing past your limits can be exhilarating, you feel like you’ve beat something, accomplished something but if the price is your health it’s not good, not at all. Sometimes we do have to stop and give ourselves permission to say, “Okay, time to rest. You won’t do anyone any good if you keep pushing yourself.”

I tend to do this when I feel myself in the middle of the down episode. I’ll try to ignore the signs/triggers to push past it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But in the end it doesn’t help because I need the downtime, even if I hate it. A break, a bit or rest, even taking an hour to play for a bit helps. The same can be said about the way I sometimes approach things. I take on too much, don’t depend on anyone and then have myself to blame when things blow up. It’s okay to lean on your friends. If they leave you because you needed them, they weren’t your friends. But if they want to help let them. It’s okay to put down the burden for a bit and not be strong. It’s okay to take a rest and it’s okay lean on someone else for a change let someone else take care of you.

It’s a hard lesson, one we forget. It’s okay to not be Atlas all the time, our health depends on it. It’s also okay to be scared and it’s okay to change, to grow. I’ve been reading this book called Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner and it’s been very enlightening to say the least. I’ve been examining my own actions and interactions, understanding myself. With those examinations, pokes and prods comes some harsh truths but in the end I’ve learned to accept it, take what I know and grow from it. The one lesson I’ve learned, is, and say it with me, it’s okay. LOL

I finished HH3. I just sent it off to be read and looked over before I send it in officially. I managed to get it up to 34k+ in word count. Now I’ve got one spin off series I’m contemplating, one story set in a sci-fi world that I’d love to write and a new series that began to form when I started writing Van’s story. Van is from Sex and Chocolate: Chocolate Bliss. The writer's block is over. It feels good writing again. *Big Grin*

Se